making love out of nothing at all

one night it was thursday night (malam jumaat) he hinted to make love. I was surprised and at the same time happy and worried. 

I don't know what to expect... but it went on great until when it supposed to be the right time his inside me i couldn't feel him. I wonder what happen...never before i can't feel him inside me. 

I asked him whether was it my fault he said no its just one of the bad day for him. So thats the end of it we hugged and talked. Until he fell asleep...but i can't close my eyes. I kept on thinking what went wrong was it me or him.

when he woke up that morning i told him that i cannot sleep. He told me not to think about it. But that morning i realised she is coming for an interview. No wonder he was thinking about her.

I know then that she was in his mind always...maybe he was thinking how the interview will turn out, how is she going to travel all the way from her hometown to kl. Oh Allah please give me strenght to go through all this.

This can't go on....its not fair for me.. why should i be in the middle of their problems. This really shows that he loves her so much but he don't want to admit it because he doesn't want to hurt me. Is this the right way to do it?

Please let me go....i kept on saying this to him. He was angry when i told him. He will not leave me no matter what happen.