time to move on??

5th april 2015... we're going out on a date after sooo long we have not been alone without kids tagged along.

It's fun and i felt like going on a first date. We rode out at 7 am and have breakfast in kl. Nasi lemak istana and i had mee kicap. Since 11 march i have not eaten rice only minimal portion. So i am trying to maintain my diet. its hard actually but i want to do this for myself. My self confident has gone down tremendously since i knew about his affair.

I am trying slowly to move on with my life. Knowing that he has someone else makes me feel so low and unwanted. I want to get back my dignity and self esteem in life.

I've sacrifised a lot since the first day of our marriage.  i need to do things that i want to do. I want to change my life for the sake of my family. I love them so much my children is my most valuable treasure and my husband is my soulmate my one and only love of my life. I cant live without them but i know they can live without me.

We are going for a movie ...fast and furious 7. It was a great movie....to watch the late paul walker on his last movie. My darling he really love the movie. I think he loves the movie more than me being there beside him. i don't know wether he had great time as i did or is he just doing it to please me. I dont know does he feels the same way i did.

Is he doing all this because of his guilt or he is doing it because he wants to and because he loves me?? Only he can answer that ..

I know she also watched the same movie but on different day. I think he just wants to watch the movie but imagining watching it with her. Life sucks!!!

I really need to talk with him about my status, about her ...about us.