5th april 2015... we're going out on a date after sooo long we have not been alone without kids tagged along.
It's fun and i felt like going on a first date. We rode out at 7 am and have breakfast in kl. Nasi lemak istana and i had mee kicap. Since 11 march i have not eaten rice only minimal portion. So i am trying to maintain my diet. its hard actually but i want to do this for myself. My self confident has gone down tremendously since i knew about his affair.
I am trying slowly to move on with my life. Knowing that he has someone else makes me feel so low and unwanted. I want to get back my dignity and self esteem in life.
I've sacrifised a lot since the first day of our marriage. i need to do things that i want to do. I want to change my life for the sake of my family. I love them so much my children is my most valuable treasure and my husband is my soulmate my one and only love of my life. I cant live without them but i know they can live without me.
We are going for a movie ...fast and furious 7. It was a great movie....to watch the late paul walker on his last movie. My darling he really love the movie. I think he loves the movie more than me being there beside him. i don't know wether he had great time as i did or is he just doing it to please me. I dont know does he feels the same way i did.
Is he doing all this because of his guilt or he is doing it because he wants to and because he loves me?? Only he can answer that ..
I know she also watched the same movie but on different day. I think he just wants to watch the movie but imagining watching it with her. Life sucks!!!
I really need to talk with him about my status, about her ...about us.
Saturday, 11 April 2015
Friday, 3 April 2015
janji untuk ditepati atau dikhianati??
Promises is it for keeps or meant to be broken..
Manusia sentiasa berpegang pada janji..tapi manusia juga yang sentiasa memungkiri janji. Janji untuk sehidup semati..janji untuk saling percaya mempercayai..but once its broken you cannot trust anyone anymore.
Janji untuk sayang menyayangi ke akhir hayat...tapi janji hanya tinggal janji. I love you so much ... but do you still love me??
what is it that she has makes you love her more..?? Other than a pretty face and a sexy body..is that what you are looking for in a woman now... after so many years togetherthese are really important to you??
I know that i have not been the best wife for you for the past two years...but i also wonder is it because of her that our relationship change. A lot of questions in my mind needs to be answered.
You have told me once that we are not like normal people where they have sex at least two times a week. But as for us we had once or twice in one month. Is it my fault? I thought all these while you are not interested in sex because you have problem with the "mangkuk ayun". So i try to understand and i just follow your needs but now i think you are not interested in me since the past two years because you have her. Is she always in your mind every time we are together.
Were you thinking and imagining her when we make love.? Do you really think that you still love me? When i asked you about the stain on your underwear, you were so angry with me and said you were looking at pictures of sexy girl in the you tube. You did that because you did not had enough from me. I am sorry.... it was my mistake.
That is why you fell in love with her . it's all my fault. I cant turn back the time but i have to accept the fact that you love someone else. All these years i thought you only call me "sayang" but when i saw your message to her my heart break to pieces..i wouldnt have imagine this will happen to me. I gave you my trust but now i cant trust anyone anymore....
Manusia sentiasa berpegang pada janji..tapi manusia juga yang sentiasa memungkiri janji. Janji untuk sehidup semati..janji untuk saling percaya mempercayai..but once its broken you cannot trust anyone anymore.
Janji untuk sayang menyayangi ke akhir hayat...tapi janji hanya tinggal janji. I love you so much ... but do you still love me??
what is it that she has makes you love her more..?? Other than a pretty face and a sexy body..is that what you are looking for in a woman now... after so many years togetherthese are really important to you??
I know that i have not been the best wife for you for the past two years...but i also wonder is it because of her that our relationship change. A lot of questions in my mind needs to be answered.
You have told me once that we are not like normal people where they have sex at least two times a week. But as for us we had once or twice in one month. Is it my fault? I thought all these while you are not interested in sex because you have problem with the "mangkuk ayun". So i try to understand and i just follow your needs but now i think you are not interested in me since the past two years because you have her. Is she always in your mind every time we are together.
Were you thinking and imagining her when we make love.? Do you really think that you still love me? When i asked you about the stain on your underwear, you were so angry with me and said you were looking at pictures of sexy girl in the you tube. You did that because you did not had enough from me. I am sorry.... it was my mistake.
That is why you fell in love with her . it's all my fault. I cant turn back the time but i have to accept the fact that you love someone else. All these years i thought you only call me "sayang" but when i saw your message to her my heart break to pieces..i wouldnt have imagine this will happen to me. I gave you my trust but now i cant trust anyone anymore....
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