i want to move on...

It's tough since the night that i cried...feeling worthless, angry, betrayed and sad. I feel that i can't go on.

I gave a lot of thinking how long can i be like this...a day, a week, a month or a year. He seems ok these few days...but i just don't know how long will it last.

every day i pray to ALLAH to take away feelings of anger, hatred and jealous from me. I want to live my life in peace and happiness. I haven't felt happy since that day..

She took away my happiness... i am only here because he wants me to be around and coz of my children. My heart broke to pieces which can never be repaired anymore.

I want to move on...the only way that i know how is to be ignorance. I want to ignore him wether he loves me or not, wether he loves her more...??

I don't want to know if he is going out with her or not... i know he is. Sometimes he lied when he is out with her. I was so angry...why must he lied to me. As though i don't know about her. His excuses was that he don't want me to think he is doing anything with her...daaa... i would'nt know right.. even he say his not doing anything i will always think differently. That is what wifes do think the worst thing that could happen.

How am i going to move on??? The time is getting near he told me he would wait until end of june for any new updates from her parents since the day she told them about him. I am counting the number of days. I want to hear what he will tell me..

I assume he will say she needs more time to convince her parents to meet him. Which i dont know how long is it this time...a week, a month or another year. Can i go through with this? Come on just get married what ever happen next you guys have to think about it later.

Don't do this to me anymore.. i can't just sit and watch this until i die. Help me to move on with my life.